I started Ask Olive this Fall as an advice column experiment, a way to engage with your questions not as an expert but as a fellow fallible human being. I love the advice column format and am grateful to have been trusted with your questions. But for now, after a very brief season, Ask Olive is ending. Paid subscribers will still have free access to a nonfiction workshop I’m teaching in February 2024 & private posts, and I’ll scoot the two Ask Olive posts to my main newsletter.
It feels a little embarrassing to be ending a project I only launched two months ago, but I also know it’s the right thing to do. There are so many times in my life I’ve wanted to quit something but felt I couldn’t, or actually couldn’t because my parents wouldn’t let me or I needed to make a living: high school, college, grad school, 5am swim practice, flute lessons, every sports team I was on as a child and teen, my first relationship, lexapro, hating my body, speaking to my grandfather, so many shitty jobs.
“Fuck around and find out” didn’t exist as a phrase in the zeitgeist when I was growing up, and experimentation was not encouraged in my family. In my family, “failure,” via a bad grade or mistake-filled flute recital, would result in a withholding of love. Because I was afraid to be “bad” at things, I rarely pursued my desires, especially my deepest desires, because to be bad at them (in the eyes of my parents or authority figures) would have broken my spirit entirely. I did not play guitar, or paint, or sing, for so long.
I want a big life. I crave experimentation & new experiences, and I’m now strong enough to work through the discomfort of being a beginner. Thank you for letting me try this out, as a way of solidifying & celebrating what does work for me: the rhythm of my monthly newsletters. I so appreciate your support xx
Knowing when to stop is one of those mystifyingly challenging things. This inspires me to be better at it too!
Your paid subscribers are here for one thing: to read your writing, however it shows up <3